there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
