We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
