She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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