Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
