U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
