M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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