my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
