So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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