were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
