Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...

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(406): View more from Montana

Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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(301): View more from Maryland

And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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(440): View more from Ohio

Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

(440): View more from Ohio

Ps I am

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(440): View more from Ohio

i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?

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(727): View more from Florida

I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!

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