i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I love you.
Bad choice
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize