You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
