umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
