So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
