I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
