I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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