What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
