yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
