And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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