i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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