and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
