Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
