I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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