Your tits are I can't wait for
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
