Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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