Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
