if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
