I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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