Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
