guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
