speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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