I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can I color on your dick again?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize