she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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