I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
