I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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