Someone shit on the floor
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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