how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
