Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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