sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
