Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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