Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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