if i can run in heels then i can drive
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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