scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
wow bdsm is so cute
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
