all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
