yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
