I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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