I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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