Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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