Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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