My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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