That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Green mimosas i think yes
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
