he puts the penis in happiness.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
