My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
