On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
