she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
