but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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