smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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