you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
