No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
