so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
