PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
