why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize